Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Words Hurt

We all start out as little kids being told don't say anything if you don't have anything nice to say! Well I am here to say the same rings true at 5 and 55! Words hurt! I have been through the ringer with my mother and my step dad as a teen growing up. I have been called every name in the book and you would think I would have developed a thick skin but that's not the case. Words hurt. They can be more painful than punching you in the face. And sometimes they can make you want to punch someone in the face. I learn lessons the hard way, I always have. My husband and I are just fresh out of bankruptcy, that is something very personal that I am putting out there for the world to see! I am not proud of it but I am a firm believer that you live and you learn! Some of our financial problems were our own fault! I own that! Some however were not. My husband had hospital bills that were not his doing an ambulance was called and he had no choice and no insurance, did I mention he was a senior in high school but an adult in Alabama! So he got stuck with the bills and of course didn't have the money to fight it. After they started garnishing his wages we fell behind and couldn't catch up! Yeah we are not perfect, we have made dumb decisions  and not always had our priorities straight but I think that's part of being young and not having responsibilities. Once you have done all these dumb things and dug yourself a hole it is really tough to get back out! I am not proud of these things but willing to own my mistakes and accept them!

Now when someone who knows these very personal things about you goes and throws it in your face and takes digs at you, it hurts! When your friends with someone I suppose there are different levels of friendship and sometimes you can make bad choices with friendship! Once someone burns you, I mean really burns you its probably a good idea to cut ties and move on! The old saying there are more fish in the sea applies to friendships also!People come into our lives for a reason and sometimes they are there to stay forever and some are there only to teach you a lesson and then they have played their part and will move on! I am growing and changing as a person everyday! I learn and grow and try to change and do better every single day! I am currently trying to make better financial decisions and get my life in order with God. These are two of the most important things to me right now! I'm not perfect and have never claimed to be! I think something like this happening is a wake up call! Being hurt by someone is suppose to be family is more painful than just being a friend. I am not a teenager anymore, I am a grown adult woman who is also a wife and a mother. Those are my priorities in life now! I don't work because I choose to raise my children at home! There are several reasons behind this..one a big ONE is I can't afford daycare, why would I work to pay someone to raise my children? Now if I were making good money and there were money left over after day care I would work to help my life easier for my family! Not working is hard, we suffer money wise alot more and my husband lives at his job killing himself working twelve hour days for days at a time with no off days for weeks sometimes. Am I looking for sympathy not at all just stating a fact! It is a personal choice. I feel like yeah we may have to be tighter with money for me to stay home but my babies are only babies for a short while and I am loving getting to raise them and bond with them! These are times I will always cherish! Now with that said to each his own. I have been called selfish for staying home with my children when I could work and make life easier, really? Would my life be easier if I worked a 40 hour a week job and had 100$ left over after daycare? O and someone else raised my child that week. Anyway with out trying to harp and gripe. I am just trying to make a point that everyone has their own reasons for everything and the man up stairs is the ONLY persons opinion who matters! I try to be a people pleaser alot of times and not hurt people. I have grown up alot since I had kids and I am realizing whats important to me. Some people matter and some you should just LET EM GO! So I am going to try to practice what I preach. I am not going to stoop to the high school level instead I am going to sit and blog about it and realize some people may read this and agree and others may think I'm nuts. For that matter no one may read this at all which is fine too! I need to get things off my chest and this is my outlet! If you have some words of encouragement or wanna tell me what you think feel free! I am always open to opinions, you know what they say about opinions!

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