Thursday, October 14, 2010

How would you remember me?

You ever have those days where your left sitting deep in thought but yet your mind is racing and you can't collect your thoughts? Wait did that make any sense? Well I have had some deep thoughts recently about life, my children, my family, and friends! I came to the conclusion that I was going to do some inventory of things in my life. My thoughts on this are can't have too much of some things but can have a stock pile of crap that you need to get rid of! So you can't have too much love, fun, family time, good health, or hopes and dreams. However you can always stand to shed some drama, hate, judgements, and anger. If your like me you can spend a lot of time holding on to anger and resentment it will eat at you if you let it. I thought to myself if I spent those minutes doing something productive or praying, instead of sitting and brewing over hurt feelings or anger toward someone who had done me wrong. I have had an eye opening week. Life is sometimes so short, a girl I went to school with was pregnant and lost her life leaving behind a tiny little 3 lb baby. It is such a tragedy that it makes this little tiff I had seem so petty!

People come into your life for a reason. Sometimes they are there forever and sometimes I think they are meant to teach you a life lesson and then you move on. I know that growing up I was an only child and always very lonely. I turn to my friends as if they are family and lean on them for love and support. I have some terrific friends that I love dearly! I have learned that everyone is different, we all have different opinions and reasons behind our decisions in life. I think we are quick to judge others thinking that our way is the "RIGHT" way, but if you really sit back and think, if everyone did everything the same way and thought the same way how boring would life be?? I am very lucky that my husband and I have the same goals and have gone through these struggles together. We have sat down and realized we are at a point in our lives where we aren't kids anymore we have kids so now is the time to make changes! WE have to start saving for our future and getting involved in our community and in charity events. We need to be in church and active in staying healthy. My husband tells me all the time to stop caring what other people think. Their opinions don't matter and don't pay our bills lol!

I also have sat and thought a lot about what if it had been me that died? How would I be remembered? Would you remember me for my blog? Would you remember me for being a gossip or selfish? I know these are not things I'm proud of, I'm not perfect and VERY aware of that fact, but I wonder, what would people remember about me? I am very troubled thinking about the answers I might get one can fix this but me! I will make an effort from this day forward to keep my opinions to myself, to not judge others, to not sit and gossip, and to have my priorities straight! I will fail many times but I will make an effort and work on my faults. I will also try to be more productive and do something that matters. My first project, I am going to do a 5k in honor of Kyle, a very good friend of mine that was killing in action over seas! Wish me luck!

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