Brotherly Love

OK seriously Bryant is always keeping me on my toes! He is so full of questions right now and very into helping take care of his brother. So today was filled with wanting to hold his brother ( brother can't hold his own head up yet so you can imagine how dangerous this is).  So you can clearly see little brothers eyes are bugging out of his head cause Bryant will not leave him alone! So today Mason wouldn't stop crying, I couldn't lay him down with out screams! Bryant says to me in a very serious tone, my brother is crying are you going to check on him? So I said well what is wrong with him and he looks me dead in the eye and says I'm sure he is hungry fix a bottle! This child is something else!

Now fast forward to bath time tonight! He pours an entire bottle of Johnsons Lavender Baby Bath in the tub with him! When I walked back in from dressing Mason I was like Bryant Oh no buddy what have u done and he said I tried to make bubbles, I am out of bubble bath. I said this isn't bubble bath its brothers night time soap that costs mommy a fortune! I said what will I do to give brother a bath now and he says very serious, call my mimi (my mom) she is very nice and likes to buy me things she will go to walmart tomm after work! I cracked up and said oh really and he says without missing a beat yeah just call her! WOW what a smarty pants! Now everyone knows I have been so miserable because Mason doesn't sleep at night very well. Well my saving grace has been a swing, the swing died it doesn't work anymore! :( You can imagine my disappointment! I am very interested to know how tonight will play out! Well I am pooped and more adventures await me in a few hours!

Why Mommy???

Bryant has asked me about 500 questions today! I am assuming we are going through a little phase and we are learning so mommy is trying to be patient, however, he is asking questions faster than I can answer them!Tonight as we were getting in the tub I got this series of questions...Mommy why did you leave me to go see Tony's baby at the hospital? Me: Well you wanted to stay with mimi. Bryant: Mommy why does mimi come over and always want to tickle me? Me: Well Bryant she is trying to make u laugh she has done it to me my whole life. Let's get you in the tub. Bryant: No mommy I still have to poop and pee first, Mommy why do you pee with a tootie? Me: Well bryant girls have tooties and boys have wee wee's. Bryant: Mommy why can't Mason get in the tub with me. Me: Well he is too little right now!

As you can imagine this could go on for hours! So after the tub I was in here couponing, my usual Sunday activity after I get the paper. He comes in and sits with me and says mommy I love you. Well I love you too Bryant. He then says your my angel and my best friend I love you 5. I am assuming 5 means ALOT! He then gave me the most precious kiss imaginable and said I'm going to bed with daddy turn that t.v. off and come on! I have days that I want to pull my hair out and days that he makes my heart melt. Children are so much smarter than I realized and you cant pull any tricks with Bryant. I am very blessed to have my boys and cherish my time with them. I know one day they will be all grown up and all I can hope and pray for is we stay close and have a wonderful relationship. I want to get myself or Mark fixed so there will be no more babies but I also feel like it wont be so bad after Mason gets a little bigger but man alive it is tougher having two than I ever imagined!

I thought that working a full time job and managing Bryant was rough, haha yeah right. I am up to my eye balls in laundry and cleaning and feeding and changing and cooking and bath time and wow it never ends and by the time I sit down check my facebook and blog and coupon, well Mason should be screaming anytime now to be fed again! I am exhausted not to mention I am trying to loose weight and walking an hour a day, I am making myself tired just thinking about how busy my days are. And whats worse, I am sitting in my living room looking at ten things I should be up doing! I'm not complaining (ok maybe a little) just venting some frustrations, I am very blessed to get to stay home with my babies. I wouldn't change it for the world!

8 weeks and counting

Well here we are 8 weeks in to having two kids and wow is it more than I ever imagined! The sleep thing is so much better, the first six weeks were horrible, I literally thought it would never end. Now everyday I find a new obsticle to overcome. I have always been one of those people who heard kids screaming in Wal-Mart and thought gosh shut that kid up...Now I am the mom thinking this is so embarrassing, why wont he just act right for 5 minutes? It is so stressful to go out in public, Bryant is at that age where he wants everything he sees and asks a million questions! Don't get me wrong I understand he is just a baby still but sometimes he picks the worst times to decide to misbehave. I feel like everyone is stopping to stare at me. So next time you hear a kid being loud think of that poor mom and how she might be feeling!

I have started my weight loss journey, all those krispy kremes and snickers are a thing of the past...wait no they are still around my waist and thighs! I am now walking an hour a day minimum! The weight is not going anywhere! I am trying to be patient but I want it gone so bad it is becoming an obsession! I will go ahead and admit I have taken some desperate measures, I have been wearing shrink wrap and a girdle. I feel like a crazy person but I will try alot of extremes to wear my clothes again!

Being a mother of two is alot of work! I have to watch Bryant constantly to make sure he isnt hurting Mason because he has no idea when he is being too rough and Mason is so tiny. I feel like I never get things accomplished because as soon as I start something Mason needs to be fed or changed and Bryant needs something to drink, then he is hungry, then he needs to potty and wants me to pull his pants up and then the phone rings and someone wants to chat and then Mason wants to be held and WILL whine until you pick him up! Bryant is very smart and such a handfull! He is changing so much it is so scary to think about him growing up so fast! I still doubt myself as a mother every ten minutes and think should I have said that or done that? I think everyday I am messing up and will one day regret this lol! I always think should I spank him, is that him just being a kid, how do I explain this to him? I sit and ponder these things all the time but all I can do is pray that God will guide me to be the mother he wants me to be! Well enough for now, gotta sleep while Mason is asleep! God Bless!

My first trip to Walmart

I think if you talk to any mom, you will typically find that we had all rather go grocery shopping alone. It is so much easier and faster! Well this is not always possible and today I decided to venture out to Walmart to use some coupons that were about to expire. Yes, I am on a huge kick with my coupons but if you saw how much more stuff we are able to buy now, it would blow your mind! Anyways, I had quite the trip and learned some what not to dos. Bryant is finally potty trained which is great but going to the bathroom in public can sometimes prove to be a job in itself. We head to the restroom when he starts holding it(literally). So after unloading the buggy of my purse diaper bag and newborn we see that it is closed for cleaning, how wonderful! So of course Mason wakes up right after that ordeal and wants a bottle. So picture me taking up tons of space in the isle, newborn screaming, people staring, and Bryant saying mommy lets go look at toys...NOW! Well I dont know if any of you have tried to hold a baby and bottle, while pushing a buggy and answering 100 questions from a toddler but wow it makes for one LONG and exhausting trip! I am so blessed that God gave me the babies he did, they are miracles and though I find myself wanting to cry alot more these days and doubting myself ALOT, I wouldn't change a thing, I am so blessed to have these wonderful boys in my life. I dont deserve them! Its odd to say but I feel lost when I have to leave Bryant for whatever reason, its like I'm missing a part of me. Well I havent really left Mason yet but I can't wrap my head around these moms who dont want or dont raise their kids. I am lost without mine. I have such a different life than I could have ever imagined, but I wouldnt trade the poop diapers, bottles, messes or diasters for any of the things I used to be into. Never a party, club, or dinner has ever compared to these two boys and the love I have for them!

3 weeks in

I am now a mother of two for 3 weeks. Needless to say my life has been flipped upside down! I am no longer snuggling and sleeping late with Bryant, I am up all night with a very fussy, crying Mason and then trying to cat nap on the couch and pray Bryant doesnt tear the house apart. I am very blessed that Bryant is so independant. He will sit in his room and watch a movie orplay with his "mans" as he calls em or do a puzzle. I have kept a terrible headach for days now and shed so many tears it is not even funny. Now I have gone through my fair share of jobs and when we decided to have another baby, I had the thought that maybe this is where I belong, a mom, just raising my kids and taking care of my husband. maybe that is why I never felt like any job suited me. Well I am by no means a wonderful extraordinary mother, but I really do love being with my boys all the time. Knowing I am raising them, shaping and molding them and teaching them, it makes me really happy! Now I am no over the top momma who uses cloth diapers, makes my own baby food and breast feeds. Don't get me wrong I tried breast feeding but it was hard, I am not a big fan of popping the boob out in front of people and to be honest the pain of sore nipples and a starving child going to town on em, well it's not the wonderful bonding experience you think it will be. Did I mention when they are full and he is asleep and your in so much pain or he is crying and ur leaking milk every where? So these moms who do cloth diapers to save the environment and money...kudos I salute you. I am not a huge fan of poop and an even bigger fan of not having to try to figure out what to do with mushy newborn poop. Like seriously where do you put it, obviously the toilet but like then you have to try to get it all off and wash it and I'm sure that I dont want my clothes washed with poop! Motherhood with two is soooo different from just one. I hope that by getting back to my blogging, I can get everything off my chest and keep my sanity!

Adventures in motherhood

OMG this has been very stressful, very overwhelming week for me! Mason our newest addition has gone through having his days and nights mixed up to finding out he is allergic to milk! So needless to say I am exhausted! I havent gotten any sleep and there is somethig very emotional about a baby that wont stop crying at 5 am! I have been a basket case! I have felt every emotion possible! I have gone from guilt to anger to overwhelming amounts of stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation! It has been a whirlwind! I am very emotional and I still feel like Mason loves his daddy more! Things are so crazy when you feel like that baby should want his mommy and nothing will calm him down except his dad who has work and cant sit up with him! It has been a little overwhelming. I am hoping for it to all calm down sooN!

What's Important

When you loose someone you sit and think about how short life is and how you are not promised a tommorrow. I hope that I don't ever take my husband or babies for granted. I have changed so much over the past few years, I can't imagine my life without my babies. My outlook on life and priorities are so different than they have ever been. Bryant lights up my life with his smile and laugh. That baby is so smart, he amazes me! We can sit and do puzzles and he sings to me and he can count and say his alphabet and even though these are things I hear him do many times a day, it always makes me smile. I am so proud of everything he does, he really has changed my life. Mason is kinda still just chillin out not doin to much but just holding him and having him here with us, makes me melt. God has blessed us in so many ways. I am not a perfect mother by any means, I am sure I fall short so many times a day and without Mark helping me sometimes I don't know how I'd make it! There is no better feeling in this world than the love between me, Mark, and these babies! I am such a lucky woman to have such an awesome husband. Mark is a very special person, he has overcome so much in his life and is truly one of the best people I have ever known! He is a wonderful father, these boys are so lucky! I have had numerous jobs in my life but the best decision I have ever made is staying home to raise my boys. I can honestly say I am in love with 3 boys. They have rocked my world and I will never be the same! I hope that everyone can one day experience having a child and the true love that comes with it!