Tuesday, March 16, 2010


So family is a funny thing. Little back ground on me...only child well kinda daddy had kids with previous marriages and they were way older than me so I have never lived in the house with either of them and they've never really been in my life.So my daddy passed away when I was nine and I got stuck with the crappiest step dad in the history of crappy step dads trust me...if you were in my life from 10-16 you totally understand! So after all the years of mental and physical abuse of my mother and I he exits stage right in a very dramatic scene like something in a movie! So fast forward a couple years my mother has completely isolated herself from her family and took me along for that ride! So then we have my dads family...they pretty much hate her cause she was 20 years younger than my dad and then a year after he dies she brings one of his best friends to live on my daddy's family's land where we live..u get the picture. So my mom and I have a complicated relationship at best. I know she is the only family I have because my daddy's brother threw us off the family land about a week after my maw maw passed away(RIP u were my only ali in that whole crazy thing and I owe you so much)So here I am no family on either side that want me in their lives. Let's just say Christmas and Thanksgiving were very depressing for me sitting home cooking huge meals for me and my mom. Anyway we have a rocky relationship like I said neither of us agree with the other on anything and I mean anything...any of you who know me at all have a full understanding of what things are like for us. If I say white she says black etc... So when I met Mark I thought that it was so wonderful that he had sisters and cousins and a huge family. So I adopted them as my own and surrounded myself with them for holidays and any time I could. I was trying to fill a void! Well lets first say I understand this is not little house on the prairie and life is not sunshine and roses in real life! But I have this hope, dream, or false image in my head of holidays, birthdays, and BBQ surrounded by all these people and its so fun and loving and normal! Now lets wake up to the real world and say that 9 times out of ten they are all at each others throats! So I wake up from my la la land I have created in my head and realize that my friends are my family! They are who I turn to for support, comfort, and love! They are who I call to share all my exciting news, who I invite over for dinners, BBQ and birthdays or a nice quiet night of Wii. So to all of those friends and you know who you are I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me through everything, for listening to me when I need to vent, and for making me smile! You will never know how much you all mean to me!

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